Celebration

Yesterday was my 78 th birthday and it began as all new beginnings do… first with a visit to an endocrinologist telling me I had arrived into the world of adrenal insufficiency (life threatening) and then an evening at a life affirming play. Both lead me to do a very quick sketch of myself as I imagine myself today. As a young toddler (1) entering into a whole new world of art and in life. A world of oils paints and artistic evolution by a woman who feels life is a discovery discovery, a woman who is emotionally strong, fearless and energetic. I had just completed the painting of the old bread man that I hit with my cane from the Paris sketches entitled La Dernier Pain when I realized I had completed a painting milestone (2). First it closes a series of single people alone with their stories. Secondly it has given me the courage to try and introduce more people and color into my oil paintings, even though I only see in various shades of grey and blurry images. It marks not what I have lost but what I have gained. The knowledge that I try to paint complexity even though people ask “why don’t I paint my truth?” My “truth” is having no color, navigating in a world of blurry images with little ability for identifying details, and the inability to trust a wavering vision. Painting this truth would be boring visually to a viewer, and intellectually to myself. But I ask myself why shouldn’t I paint for challenge, growth and excitement as a young child looks at the world with curiosity and wonder? Like all children I want to test my boundaries and learn my capabilities and grow into the artist I want to become.